Saturday, May 23, 2009

Three Losers - A Night at the Movies

1) First Loser -



"Righteous Kill" starring Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino, and 50 cents. We left after 30 minutes. But, what the hell. We walk out of a lot of movies. O, well



2) 2nd Loser -



Christian Bale in the trailer for the new Terminator movie. His charred corpse-voice is bad enough inside a cape and mask in Batman. But now it's just absolutely retarded. And those looks he gives. This is a movie I simply have to see (Don't be jealous, though, Nicolas Cage. You're still my Number 1, baby.)


3) 3rd Loser -




- A Coca Cola commercial called "A Celebration of Life"

This is what happens: An old man (102 years old) drinks a coke. A baby's born. Everyone celebrates. Everyone drinks coke. Christ!!!


This commercial sent chills through me. Made me stuff my head between my legs and bite into my thighs. Made me throw up all over the fat lady sitting in front of us. The one with the big red hat. The one with the seething-red fuck-me pumps.


When the old man guzzles the coke (from a bottle so you can see the swirling red liquid: the exilir of life) I started to lose it. Really lose it. And then the newborn taken out from between a woman's raised spread legs. O, Lord!

And then everyone (all age groups) gathered together. And toasting with glasses full of that red fucking poison. And downing, everyone downing, that red fucking poison.


I nearly passed out. Honestly.

And then I had to suffer Christian Bale.

Like salt and lemon and salt and salt and lemon and salt poured and squeezed and poured and squeezed on and on and on and on to a gaping fucking wound.

And then Righteous Kill. Like I said we only saw 30 minutes of this absolute piece of garbage. I can't say one good thing about it.

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