Silliman's Female Voice (?)

I don't know what Ron Silliman sounds like but my dreaming self (this morning's at least) seems to think he's got a woman's voice. Like my wife's.

It was (and is) a hot, muggy morning. and, my wife was trying to rouse me:

"Rauan!
Rauan!
Rauan!"

And so, (you know how dreams work) I was in a dream with Ron Silliman. In a kind of smoking lounge. Old books everywhere. Tattered spines. A feeling of absolute and mildewed truth. And Ron's slapping his fist in his hand.

"Rauan!
Rauan!
Rauan!"

(A strong but decidedly feminine and familiar voice. No shit!)

A feeling like watching the ocean, fierce and outraged, slamming against rocks all covered with pelican shit. But, we've made eye contact now. And things must be okay because Ron's calmed down.

And it takes me a while but from what he's ranting on about it seems we've been called together on some sort of secret Ron Silliman mission.

"...as you can see," Ron says, proudly, almost tearing up "I have gathered around me today some of the greatest and brightest minds in the business."

Wow! I'm flattered and tingly. And, so, I look around, and the only person I recognize's Seth Abramson. My blood's really surging. This is like a first date.

"..I need you guys to be honest on this one, guys," Ron says, a twisted, anguished look on his face (a butcher's face, really). "What do you guys think of Matthew Zapruder?"

I'm not sure. I mean he seems like a nice guy. But who can tell?

So, I'm sitting there perplexed as cotton, but Seth perks up right away.

"I think he's soft" he says, shaking his head like a tired executioner. "I think he's soft."

I'm remembering a time I played backgammon (that's Shesh-Pesh in the old country) with Matthew Zapruder. We were bathed in sunlight. Gwen Stefani's "Cool" was playing for what seemed like an eternity. But suddenly I felt uneasy. Like bodies were clogging up my throat. And now, remembering, I'm starting to feel uneasy. I mean I can feel the sunlight again and it feels good. And Gwen's voice is such a lullaby. But I just feel antsy....

"Rauan!
Rauan!
Rauan!....."