80's One-Hit Wonders, etc, - Or - Why I'm a Loser

Last night a cinnamon hummingbird blundered into our house. We helped it out. This morning we saw a dead black cat. On its back. Teeth bared.

What do these things mean? I don't give a fuck.

I've been watching VH1's 100 Top One-Hit Wonders of the 80's. And tonight, finally, I got to see the hour that contains the top 20.

When they unveiled "Come on Eileen" as Number One I was nearly crying.

For many years I've been saying that song is the essential 80's song. (how brave and unique of me, yawn). And now I felt ratified. Like a president. Or a king.

No, a priest.

No, a god.

Like my team had won the Super Bowl.

I cleaned up some bird shit and smiled. And smiled. And smiled.

I was glowing.

It felt, honestly, like I was going to live forever. Like ---- O Christ Rauan stop
just stop

How pathetic.