Monday, February 2, 2009

Some Thoughts on Katy Perry's Hot N Cold

--It is indisputably a masterpiece.

--It’s so damned popular: why? After the first 31 questionable seconds it’s pretty much like walking through a children’s party blowing soap bubbles.

--PMS. Bitch. Who doesn’t love a hot foul-mouthed bitchy girl?

--On the first day of my Sophomore creative writing class (taught by Phyllis Janowitz who is still there in Ithaca 20 years later, and I’m here writing about Katy Perry. Damnit, life is strange...) we all introduced ourselves. One girl was studying Marine Biology. Another said she was in a band: but not stuff you hear on the radio that’s just got “a hook in it.”

There was an Asian guy who wrote a poem about catching fireflies. He and the guy next to him couldn’t stop giggling. I’m pretending now that he’s Tao Lin. EEEE EEEE EEEE

--My German friends say they have (in German of course) a phrase for a song you can’t get out of yr head. That’s stuck in you. It’s something like “song-worm.” They also have a phrase for people who sit for hours in the same place at a party: cushion-farters.

--On the beach today a stunt-man with Farrah Fawcett hair (his wife, incidentally, is a stylist) and beautiful blue eyes told us about his ideas for making some Mexican-based porn.

He’ll bring a camera down and all we have to do (like they do in Hollywood) is put an ad in the paper a week before. He plans to revolutionize the porn industry: 90 degree shutters, car crashes, “ramping,” etc,...

At the end of his pitch he said “I hope you’ve learned a lot from me today.” He also said he knows more than 50% of the directors in Hollywood. This means, I guess, he’s average. He’s a really good guy and his friends call him “Web.”

--Seconds 28-31 of Hot N Cold are absolutely sublime.

--By the fish market in Palermo (or maybe it was Catania. O, who the hell cares, you fucking name-dropper) I heard Hot N Cold.

Standing there in the slime, staring down at a dozen kinds of Octopus and Calamari I was so damned happy.

--I am thinking of Katy Perry in the Hot N Cold video, lifting her wedding dress as she pursues, with vigor, Jim Morrison.

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