Friday, August 14, 2009

what I got and what I "Found" in Alaska - Land of Preachers and Hunters

We arrived in Alaska. I got sick. Fever, chills, blah, blah. Life sucked. We dragged along. In Juneau the bed and breakfast we stayed in had lots of "literature" in the room. The New Testament (no Old Testament! poor Jews!) and some helpful, inspiring pamphlets:

Have you heard of the 4 Spiritual Laws? I had not. So, I ventured in, excited, but guarded. And, remember, I was quite sick. Nearly desperate. And the next thing that caught my eye, my very slow sick eye, was this picture of a train. (I've always liked trains, except in Fraternities).

And the pamphlet explains the Fact-Faith-Feeling train as follows:

This train diagram illustrates the relationship among fact (God and His Word), faith (our trust in God and His Word) and feeling (the result of our faith and obedience). (Read John 14:21.)

On the wall, an elephant lay crushed in a vase of flowers. I dreamed I was dead. I was on the Juneau tourist main street:

asian rugs, tanzanite and other (Alaskan?) products for sale. hundreds of wolf and otter skins. etc, etc. (I'll buy a huge fur coat, I thought. Shine and gleam like a centerfold. I disgust myself even.) and right in my face (ooooooo....) old crones toting around signs urging, simply "REPENT"-- And suddenly my stomach had to work and I dashed for the bathroom but it was being cleaned. So, I sat there, unrepentant, sinful. Shitful, Mucusful, Phlegmful, etc, etc. I was not dreaming. The bathroom opened. And everything flowed and then dripped out of me. I'd like to say I saw angels. Saw God in his long immaculately-white beard. The elephant came back to me. Just a couple of broken petals. The genius is dead I lamented. Never even lifted his brush.

I slowly got better. Trains or not, who knows. But still there's dripping in my throat. O, God.

To seal the deal, on the flight home I got this with my bag of pretzels.

So, when I got back I sat down and talked to my dog, Chuy. (note: "chuy" is the nickname for Jesus in Spanish. a coincidence. I named my dog before I'd even heard of Spanish or Mexico. Named him after Pikachu.) Chuy, you see, is quite selfish. So, I thought he might learn something from the following diagram which contrasts the self- and christ-directed lives:

This was Chuy's reaction:

One of my teachers (a lady I admire and respect) once told me I should not make fun of things (satirize, etc) unless I have an alternative. Well, well, well.....

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